I think I'm drowning...

Mind's Wandering...

can't get my mind of Louiee...
been trying though... really I have...
distractions... TV... sleep...

tonight got particularly bad...
I got to the extent of imaginating that maybe she met someone new...
*got that one out quick...*

then train of thought led me to think that she dropped me very much the way she dropped the last guy...
from what i remembered she told me... it seemed pretty similar...
she just freaked out one day and that's that...

which is leading me to the next point which i can't get out of my head...
that is to go talk to her about my theory in my last paragraph...
to maybe try to help her handle her issues with commitment...
to round her off and then we're walk into the sunset and live happily ever after...


yet little bits of me know inside that all these are little attempts of just trying to get her back...
that I should not be so lame and needy and just bloody move on...

Trust me... I know that with this entry I'll hate myself more tomm when I read it...
in fact... I'm already hating this entry now...
can't help feel that I was too clingy in the whole thing that caused it all to crumble...

"Cannonball"

Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth

Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt

Still a little hard to say what's going on

Still a little bit of your ghost your witness

Still a little BIT of your face I haven't kissed

You step a little closer EACH DAY

Still I can't SAY what's going on

Stones taught me to fly

Love taught me to lie

Life taught me to die

So it's not hard to fall

When you float like a cannonball

Still a little bit of your song in my ear

Still a little bit of your words I long to hear

You step a little closer TO ME

So close that I can't see what's going on

Stones taught me to fly

Love taught me to lie

Life taught me to die

So it's not hard to fall

When you float like a cannon

Stones taught me to fly

Love taught me to cry

So come on courage!

Teach me to be shy'

Cause it's not hard to fall

And I don't WANNA scare her

It's not hard to fall

And I don't wanna lose

It's not hard to grow

When you know that you just don't know