Different Types of Friends...
Was just pondering...
After meeting up with an old aquaintance, I'd realised that I've got lots of different kinds of friends. Maybe for a while, I've confused them and have idealised on what I want and need friends to be. Thus neglecting them or not telling them things that are close to my heart.
Some are good time friends, just around enough for the good times. These bunch are around for the pool playing and sometimes getting drinks and stuff. Nothing really serious... cannot talk to most of them except one or two... even then... there are times when there's a kinda warming up period to these one or two...
Then there are the very close friends, people who are around you lots... People who are close to your heart. I've got one. She's great... we talk lots... she shares a lot... I try to share... but at times even with her... I'm guarded... I dunno why... almost like I'm afraid that she'd see right through me... or judge me... or something... *this kills me inside...*
Then like today... I meet an old aquaintance... Julian, an old friend of a friend... met through some dumb MLM thing a couple of years ago... we talk about loads... like off road bicycles... and our old friend Lynn... today when I met him.... I just unloaded on him... I dunno... maybe it's because I know that he won't know anyone involved in my life... or the fact that he's leaving for Brisbane to work... I told him and felt better... He must think I'm crazy...
Still aching...
a little too afraid to think about possibilities...
I've spoken to her... we're going to meet up next week to see how everything 'feels' then decide...
I've got to hang loose in the meantime...
Below is something that AP said when we had dinner yesterday...
coming from him... I dare say that he should be pretty spot on...
"She's been living alone for so long, happily.
She's financially independent,
She has her own place,
She technically doesn't need a man to weigh her down...
Just wait till she gets a little older when her friends are all getting married...
Then she'll start feeling different about a proper relationship... "
AP 040506
Mark out...
PS was talking to AM and thinking and reviewing memories last night... and realised that I missed some deeper messages in the things that she had said... she did try to re-assure me through last week...
* I feel stupid*
After meeting up with an old aquaintance, I'd realised that I've got lots of different kinds of friends. Maybe for a while, I've confused them and have idealised on what I want and need friends to be. Thus neglecting them or not telling them things that are close to my heart.
Some are good time friends, just around enough for the good times. These bunch are around for the pool playing and sometimes getting drinks and stuff. Nothing really serious... cannot talk to most of them except one or two... even then... there are times when there's a kinda warming up period to these one or two...
Then there are the very close friends, people who are around you lots... People who are close to your heart. I've got one. She's great... we talk lots... she shares a lot... I try to share... but at times even with her... I'm guarded... I dunno why... almost like I'm afraid that she'd see right through me... or judge me... or something... *this kills me inside...*
Then like today... I meet an old aquaintance... Julian, an old friend of a friend... met through some dumb MLM thing a couple of years ago... we talk about loads... like off road bicycles... and our old friend Lynn... today when I met him.... I just unloaded on him... I dunno... maybe it's because I know that he won't know anyone involved in my life... or the fact that he's leaving for Brisbane to work... I told him and felt better... He must think I'm crazy...
Still aching...
a little too afraid to think about possibilities...
I've spoken to her... we're going to meet up next week to see how everything 'feels' then decide...
I've got to hang loose in the meantime...
Below is something that AP said when we had dinner yesterday...
coming from him... I dare say that he should be pretty spot on...
"She's been living alone for so long, happily.
She's financially independent,
She has her own place,
She technically doesn't need a man to weigh her down...
Just wait till she gets a little older when her friends are all getting married...
Then she'll start feeling different about a proper relationship... "
AP 040506
Mark out...
PS was talking to AM and thinking and reviewing memories last night... and realised that I missed some deeper messages in the things that she had said... she did try to re-assure me through last week...
* I feel stupid*
posted by Mark Wonk at 12:25 AM
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