Wala Wala's again... yet a little different...

i typed this posting out... three times...

I've given up...

Date... red and sweet...

I was early and excited... was waiting by Borders...
she was late... and when she arrived she was waiting behind Borders...

I was too polite to call as I thought she had to work late...
she called probably because she thought I was late...

well... not to exciting a start... but it was okay...

I brought her to my little niche of a Sushi Restaurant...
she seemed a little uncomfortable initially...
then she settled down...
we spent more than 2 hrs there...

she started to respond...

*grin*

we then had a little discussion on what should be up next...
we were a little too full for dessert...
drinks were next on the line but where should we go?!

"Top of the M?? " she asked.

We went to Peranakan place instead...
sat down... and had ice-cream...
rather we shared one...

*grin*

I sent her home and that was that...

*double grin*

P.S. Momma taught me never to kiss and telll
P.P.S. Momma... nothing happened... not even a hug... =(

-ve

I've realised that I've been a lot more negative about things recently... I seem to be complaining about everything... I was pissed off at my old ward... now I'm complaining about my new ward... I seem to never be contented...

when did this start happening...

I really can't remember... I was telling AG that I was losing myself but i just couldn't explain which bit of my that I've lost... I guess now I know one bit of me gone at least...

I've been so distracted recently... I can't even keep a proper converstion long enough... my mind just wanders...

I don't even know why I doing all this skirt chasing... am i just fulfilling some primal part of me that I've let in without evening knowing? I feel childish... all these last postings... am I just seeking all my self-worth in a girl?
I hope not...

PP

PP added me onto MSN!

somehow I'm not all that excited... I also dunno why...

well... anyways... for some reason Loo's in contact with her too...
MSN as well... so hey... WTF....

I'm kinda happy yet I'm pissed with Loo...

she cancelled on me...

she cancelled... claimed it was some family thing...

anyways...

i re-scheduled for wedsday...

hope it works out...

I've got a date...

was at wala's last night...

met his girl... well I really wouldn't say met... I had ZK and Brandon... they did most... well they did all the talking and I just stood there like the dumbass that I am... I just didn't know what to say and just made dumb sounds... ( my excuse being I had 6 Hoegaardens in me...)

It started after the last set... ZK just walked up to them and said hi and that I thought she looked cute... (her name is Cynthia...) I just walked over after a while and just stood there... after a few seconds...I walked away... ZK got her number though.... * i feel like a dumbass and that she looked more interested in ZK*

When downstairs... it was raining... they were stuck... Brandon was there... he just walked over and introduced himself to them and then me... then somehow he got me a date... with 2 text messages and a phone call...

so today I have a date...
I hope it goes well...

Blood...

After some solitude and shopping alone today...
I've come to the conclusion that I am lonely...
I'm missing friends around me...
realised that most my old friends are :
a) pricks who are too caught up with themselves...
b) too busy with work...
c) too busy with partner/ partners...
d) by now hate my guts too much...
e) already dead...

So, I went to donate blood... it felt kinda good to be doing something for some random person in singapore... I wonder if I'd get to administer the blood to one of my patients... heh... twisted...

I messaged her too... she replied after a few hours... I dunno... the replies seem somewhat laboured... maybe I'm just lonely and not truely in love... yea... that's probably it... yet I still want to know in person...

need to excercise...
need to break in my running shoes...
need to....

COLD...

my first week at the MICU...

so different... so little patients... so much more nursing care... so much attention to my patients... I'm slacking... after working for sooo long... always being in charge of things... always being the 'go-to' guy in the ward... here in the MICU... I'm nothing... nobody... haha! this is a HUGE break...

All I'm doing is house-keeping... and junior work... updating parameters...trying the learn Carevue... I feel that I'm doing alright... moving along and learning...

PS I have 2 irks with the MICU...
1. its too damn cold...
2. ppl are taking me as new staff... teaching me stupid things like answering call bells...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

met up with JG & SM tonight... JG was real nice... he came to pick me up and spent some time with me... he really didn't have to... I guess he knew that i was feeling kinda lonely...

sometimes i feel that he's the only old friend that's worth keeping... The only one who doesn't seem too caught up with himself...

otherwise unevenful night...

mark signing off...

Stupid Girl

Uneventful day at work today... what a way to end my time spent in this ward... I had nothing to do! I had to look for things to do quite literally... I shaved a couple of patients and had dinner with AG outside... Had really mixed feelings after I passed report... knowing that I'd never do that again and have it still feel the same... well...

bygones...

had supper and sat down to talk with AG just now... just like old times... every once in a while we spill our guts to each other... okokok... usually I spill my guts first... but hey... gimme a break... (to AG *winks*)

oh I almost forgot... I called her... well twice actually... once at about 1220hrs... before work...
NO REPLY.
I wasn't crushed... I expected it... She replied with a message... at about 1500hrs... decided not to react just yet... on the pretext that I was 'working'...(refer to first paragraph) I called her again at 2130hrs thereabout... after work... and as expected...
NO REPLY.

I'm too numb from leaving my ward to really feel any disappointment... anyways... got home... checked her Blog... and realised that she also left her old workplace... how ironic... STUPID GIRL!... if you picked up the phone, we'd actually have something to talk about... something to share... but you chose not to...

okay... one more chance at contact...

I wait.





P.S. I kinda had the feeling that she was leaving her old workplace this weekend...
P.P.S yes I know it's kinda voyeuristic to be reading her Blog... but if it was so private... it wouldn't be on the internet would it? so stop riding my case...

Wala...Wala...

went down to Wala's last night... the boys were there with with they're girls... (well CL was there will Stell... but thats another story...). Was there early as usual to get a table...

Nothing much happened... the band was kinda lacklustre... (no offence guys...) maybe it was just me... I didn't really enjoy myself last night... I don't know why... yet I knew if I wasn't there last night... I'd feel worse about myself... The 6 Hoegaarden Pints didn't really get to me... maybe I just needed a little more... =)

Sat down to talk and grab a bite after everything... was with JG, SM and AG. We were all just talking cock... They started asking about 'her' and stuff... Well they were real encouraging... thats one thing for sure... So much so that I'm going to call her in a while... just going to wing it!

On another note, today will be the last day in my current ward... It's been 2 years since I've been here... I'm sure going to miss it... All the familar faces and the busy times... It's really bitter-sweet... The truth is general ward nursing has burnt me out... yet leaving this familar enviroment irks me... (i've so got to leave my comfort zone...) This feeling reminds me of leaving my old camp in the army... *sigh*

okay!

off to work I need to go... will post again soon...

adieu...

RESERVIST, DIVING and TAIWAN

SAF100'ed to Maju Camp today... Nothing much.. just wait and do some surveys and stuff... Met up with some really old army friends and stuff... Met Loi, Kim Leng, Kok Heng and the bunch... The surveys were long and really tedious... and I'm on a holiday mood liao... so most probably screwed them up... (learnt some kurdish though...don't ask...)

Later I'll be leaving for Tioman again... doing my advanced open-water... The thought of diving is really getting me excited... furthermore... I've got new toys to bring along... My second hand PDC... a steal really at $300... hahahahahah... some dumb 'ang mo' sold it to me... told me he was changing 'cos he's now an instructor and need to keep up with image or something... hahahahahha.... stupid...

Tommorrow she's going to Taiwan... only a short 5 day trip... I've decided to drop her an SMS... Just for the fun of it... Kinda knowing that she probably not reply... and I'd be thrown into the hurt cycle on why she's not replying and overthinking the whole situation and stuff... but then again... I"M GOING DIVING!!!