Infomation Overload...

things are getting more intense now...
she seems to be getting more interested...
I'm happy about it all...
yet...
I know that i still have to be guarded...
she has a bad track record...
and most my friends have told me to hold back...

brings me back to pioritising life and friends and most everything...

AM brought up some really strong points re: friends and why they all seem to leave me just now...
it's been something that I've thought of for a while...
well... she's right... I do have this tendency...
am I still the true blue 'kacang' deep down inside me?

Are decisions that I am making now...
aideing me in 'losing' friends around me?
so have I always been inavertently pushing friends away?

I am afraid...
I am...
I cannot deny that...
I am scared even...

It's one thing about losing a dumb relationship...
and another to be losing a friend...

AM: I don't plan to be cold... I'm not purposfully pushing you away... I'm just stumbling along the way trying to make sense of it all... please do hear me out... there's just loads going on...

Bent...

First and foremost... I would like thank AM and BK for their support... and advice...

AM : Thank you for being patient I hear you out and know your point of view... BUT I've got to see for myself... get some clousure of mine own... It's a growth thing I guess... it may not seem so... but I've heard what you and BK has said... it's been digested... and I'm trying to see if I can play the game... It's a challenge to self as it is... AZ needs to get around and learn how the world works now...

BK: (whom most probably will not see this entry anyways...) Hey man... you've put new insight to my perspectives... don't worry... this idealist learns... cheers' bro...


For the rest of my fan club^, whom I'm sure is sitting stuck to their chairs in anticipation of my next entry, here goes...

I'm hung up on a girl again...
( I can almost hear the sighs coming from all my fans... begging to hear other bits of mine life... but hey... trust me... talking about work will be more boring...)
This time it's a little different...
We shared a 'moment'...
We had a good time on holiday together...
when we came back... she said that it MAY not work out...
then later that day, she said that maybe we should give it some time...

*mind you... though this few days... I've been driving myself crazy... heh...*

Friends telling me interesting things and throwing light into perspectives that I'd hardly even imagine on my own...

I faltered for a day... contemplating... thinking... reviewing things that were said and things that were done...
then I went out for some drinks and salsa...

Salsa helped clear my mind...
did teh ice with a new friend...
that was pretty interesting...
made me realise that I'm getting hung up too much...
that I should just relax and hang loose...

Back to the girl issue...I'm playing the wait and see game...
as far as I'm concerned... she's fun to be with...
but maybe too much fun...
and a little trouble...

I'm going to go in guarded... and play the game a little... a little teasing here and there...
then pulling out at a smart and appropriate moment...
*sounds almost like coitus interruptus doesn't it...*
hrrm...

--- End ---

PS: AM don't worry... AZ is silly but can learn fast... and is protective of himself... don't forget that AZ is a single child... I've got to fall and graze my knee to learn... plus... this has the potential to be quite fun...

^ Fan club so far consists of maybe 2/3 readers max...

maybe I should post sexy pictures of myself to boost my reader counts...

but hey... don't hold you breath for them...

Compressed Air... A Quick Update.

Hello boys and girls...

how've you all been... it's been some time...

For one... the dive season's opened!
wanna guess what I'm doing next week? =P

going to Perhentian...
with a new friend... dunno what the hell's going to happen during the trip though... but... I don't think I'm going to care... come what may...

2006 has been good year for me so far...
it's already April... I've actually survived 4 whole months of working without a leave slot...
come to think of it... over the last month... I've been back in my workplace everyday... even on my off days... (don't ask... i'm a creature of circumstance...)

Met up with ZL and JG on thursday... didn't manage to catch up much with ZL though... was pretty distracted though... she seemed like she has much on her mind... should try to get her out to catch dinner again soon...

Was talking to JG... realised that in the whole circle... we're both thinking and worried about the same few ppl...
*sigh*
I wonder if these ppl is really worth worrying about?
Well... for one thing... they are all old enough... they technically should be able to think for their own... it also doesn't help that they're so stubborn and not to mention defensive about whats going on... so how?? when these ppl seem like they haven't progressed over the years... or even worse when I feel that they may be holding ppl around them back when they're so caught up in their own lives...
*sigh*
why do I care... what can I do about it... why should I care about ppl who don't seem to want to care about themselves...

PS - should really get JG and ZL out on a trip sometime soon... I think they'd pretty appreciate it... but then again... would they be interested at this point of time when they're all finacially so tight?? nvm... will follow up...

PPS - Apologies for the messy spread of infomation on this entry... I'm on night shift and its almost 5am... I really should be getting back to work...

maybe a better penned entry will come soon... til then...

I bid you Adieu my friends...