ME

I've realised that if this is the first time reading my Blog... it may seem like I'm a little one dimensional... totally smitten by some girl from somewhere...

Well, I've actually got a job... I still meet up with friends and am still a functional person... I just have this pathetic crush... ARRRGGGG!!!...

Anyways... I sent her another message tonight...

no reply...

yet...

I'm going to work...

Mark out...

FIRST CONTACT

I decided to text her last night... her replies were short... and took ages to come... I'm crushed...

*I've come to realise that... if I saw myself walking down the street I probably wouldn't have been very interested in myself... so what if I've got a great personality? It really doesn't matter till someone gets to know me enough... will you get to know me enough?*

She's says she's packing for a chalet over the weekend... ( I so wish that she'd ask me to come for dinner or something...)

I ended the night telling her that I had good feelings for her and that I'd like to do dinner with her if she didn't mind...

No Reply...

Spent most of the week thinking about her... smiling spontanously just at the thought of her.. GOSH! this is real bad... I haven't had such a bad crush since secondary school...

oh... saw her on Tuesday... there was this competition thing that our friends were in... I went down just because I kinda knew she was going to turn up... (yes.. pathetic... I know...) well, she looked real cute in her work garb... peachy pink striped blouse... (oh... did I mention that she has a cute giggle...) well night was generally uneventful... my gastritis kicked up and I was like a girl in the mist of her period... what luck... and worse... I had to tell 'L'... and somehow... the rest of her friends knew as well... so it was mucho embarassing that night... didn't know how to re-act... I felt like i was back in the canteen of my old secondary school...

I've got a transfer to the ICU. Real good timing actually... I'm just so tired and burnt out in my current ward... I feel more like a liability than an asset... (but I know I'm not...a liability... yet...)

Friday Night - (a retrospective entry)

Just a simple meeting with a couple of old school friends... They brought along one of their old friends...

Well... she did catch my eye while we were having dinner.
(It did help that she was sitting right in front of me!)
BUT, I arrived too pissed of about the horrible week I was having to truely be really bothered. Cursing and swearing so much and so frequently that it'd probably have made a sailor blush...

Then off for drinks we went... a club called Bacelona... I sat down... She sat down on my left... 'L' on my right... 'L' started getting fresh with her... (his usual nonsense, more on that next time when I feel like it...) I was still pissed-off, and needed a stiff drink real quick...

by the by...

after a while we started talking a little... I realised that she was actually quite a nice person... she was warm... seemed authentic...and had a great smile... we joked around a little and she seemed like she was responding... (well, in my books at least...)

BUT STILL... I was just too caught up in myself too much to really care... (I 've been out with a couple of girls for dinner and stuff and that really didn't work out... read 'painfully didn't' work out...) I was weary... Thinking too much even...

Bacelona was boring... the 'live' band was bad... the girls decided they wanted to go to Club MOMO to have a look see... I lagged behind with 'Z', was sharing with her how I felt about life, work, friends, the true reasons why I'm absolutely burnt out. She was great. She let me get it all out... I felt quite a lot better after that... (Thank you 'Z')

We went home after checking out MOMO...

On the way home... my mind started wandering... I was reviewing the night in Bacelona... the body-language and all... that she actually understood what I had to say... that she dived and was missing it just as much as I was... I was missing her... I saw her face... I had that fuzzy feeling in my belly...
I had a crush!

I didn't sleep well that night... but at least I was smiling...